Another 132,937 Minutes

In early 2021, I published a post in Thought Catalog highlighting the difficulties of a relationship during the pandemic. When I wrote this post, it was very evident that I missed Dane. Pre-pandemic, we only see each other twice a month, thrice if it was at all possible. But when the surge of COVID-19 cases shot up and our country went into lockdown, that number fell to zero. I only saw Dane after 5 months, when the restrictions were slightly lifted, and only every other month after that. We both live with immunocompromised moms, which meant that despite the itch to see each other more often, it was too much of a risk for our families. We settled with video calls every day—one thing we already did before the virus happened.

Not seeing him very often before and all the more during the pandemic made me emotional a lot more times than I’ll admit. It felt strange because I’m not usually the clingy type. In fact, in my previous relationships, I was more distant and was completely fine with seeing my then-partners every two weeks. And if I didn’t, it wasn’t much of a big deal.

But being with Dane broke down a lot of walls that I put up over the years to distance myself from completely being trusting and fully committing to any relationship. And it’s nice to find someone who embraces the vulnerability that came after that.

Now that Dane proposed a few months ago, we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other soon enough. Wedding planning so far has been manageable. (PS – We’re documenting what’s happening and will be publishing them after we get married so stay tuned!)

But right now, what’s funny though is the closer we get to our wedding date, the more I feel like it’s so far. It’s 132,937 minutes to be exact from the time of writing this.

I constantly need to remind myself that it’s just a little more waiting. Then I try to find excitement to pump me up for that time. Like looking for a place we can call home even though it’s still too early to do that, or making a mental note of ways on how I can annoy him when we live together.

We’re going through marriage counseling classes currently as a mandatory requirement to get our license to marry. These sessions are once a week for 8 weeks. And I honestly look forward to it because I pick up a lot of things and know a little bit more about Dane week after week. But aside from that, I can guarantee that I can see Dane weekly so that’s a win.

Since -ber months have started, we all know how fast time will fly. Right now, it’s just 132,937 more minutes of waiting until our road to happy ever after—as cliche as that sounds.