We’ve hit our first month as a married couple just recently. As cliche as it sounds, it went by so fast. It’s been an interesting month for both of us and we’ve come to some realizations.
Waking up to them every day is a bliss
One of the things that I really looked forward to after getting married was seeing Dane every day. When we were only dating, we were already lucky to see each other every week. So seeing him every day and waking up seeing him to start my day is one of the things I’m really grateful for. That includes all the good and the bad, when he snuggles in our sofa’s throw pillow that he’s been using as a make-shift bolster, or having his mouth wide open while sleeping like a toddler.
A part of it is also just calling him for a hug when I just want one. Or telling him about my day any time without waiting for the scheduled 7pm video call like before. Even just catching him staring at me and him just smiling to say I love you.. or sticking his tongue out.
Even little moments that really make up a day, like when he rates our farts based on creativity and sound (Yes, I know I married a weirdo).
Missing them still
But it also doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him. We work different schedules and have different days off work. So that window between one of us being away makes me sad. I usually keep myself busy by doing other things… like writing this blog post. But oftentimes it’s just really part of it all that I just have to live with. And as clingy as it sounds, sometimes just lying down on the bed alone while he’s on his computer makes me miss him and crave for a cuddle. Which I’d like to believe he feels the same. I feel giddy when he stops watching live NBA of his favorite team or playing video games and moves to the bed just to cuddle with me.
Finding out new things about them
They say you find out so much more about your partner when you start living together regardless of how long you’ve been in a relationship, and I definitely agree. But it’s been a fun growth to our relationship that I wouldn’t exchange for anything.
There are both big and small things that annoy us and maybe learned to love or tolerate. Like adjusting to his loud snoring. He probably also realized just how much I get cold easily when he used to sleep in 24C airconditioning but now it’s at 27C and I’m still hogging the blanket. Or me realizing how obsessive-compulsive he can be when he’s focused on cleaning something (he got off sticky residues off the floor that I have no patience for, he’s pretty handy lol).
Thinking of them for every decision
If I were to get an opportunity to work in another country 5 years ago, I would have said yes no questions asked. But if that were to happen now, it would take so much strength to say no because it won’t fit our current life arrangements.
There are also smaller things that we need to be a bit more considerate about, such as myself cooking less fatty food due to his health and him not being able to blast his fancy speakers for music or videos because I hate noise.
It also means our career decisions should also think about how it would affect the other because it’s not just ourselves that we need to think about. That also means how we spend money or even simply agreeing to family get-togethers and outing with friends.
Looking forward to what’s next
But the biggest impact of all realizations is looking forward to what’s next. Learning more about each other, deciding about our next goal, keeping communications open for both important and unimportant things, loving each other more everyday, teasing and annoying each other, spending the rest of our lives together.
I look forward to everyday to see how we’ll tackle it. And I’m truly excited about growing up and growing old together.